I’m falling. I’ve fallen. I’ve landed in the mud and it hurt. I’m on my knees. I’m crying. I run my hands through the mud. I smell the rain. My chest hurts. I’m still crying. There is a pounding ache in my head. I scream out loud. It still rains. I fall to the side. I’m lying there. I roll onto my back and close my eyes. My voice hurts. The rain gets heavier. I’m so cold. I stretch out like a snow angel in the mud. I’m a mud angel. I laugh at the thought. I stop. I fall again. This time into her world. I love her. I hate her. I love her. She hates me. I form a fist. I wait. Thunder erupts from the sky and I’m scared. I try to concentrate but my mind wonders. Where? I roll onto my stomach again. I get up. I look ahead. I run. But I don’t know where. I carry on running. And the rain carries on pouring. And the tears carry on falling. And my heart continues to hurt. I stumble. I regain balance. I slow down. I have a stitch. I frown.
‘I can’t do anything right’
A cliff. I see the edge. I don’t believe. I walk. I’m nervous. I stop walking. I stop crying. But I don’t stop hurting. It is a cliff. So I step forward. I’m on the edge. A song plays over in my head. I don’t recognise it but it’s a sad song. A tear falls. I watch it. It falls further than I can see. It falls off the edge of the cliff. I chase it. I’m falling. But I don’t hit the ground. I’m lost. I laugh.